Anxiety is an incredibly common human emotion. It’s also one we’ve been regularly conditioned to “get rid” of.
I absolutely believe their are some levels of unhealthy anxiety, but I’ve also found, personally, that anxiety has been a pretty powerful tool for me.
I’ve actually come to see my anxiety as a pretty good friend. It’s shown me what’s not for me, when I’m under prepared, and when I’ve over scheduled myself.
This post is going to cover the power that comes with listening your anxiety and take a look at three ways you can better respond to it.
A note before we dive in
First, I want to say that I am not a psychologist or medical professional and I am not here to tell you any formally diagnosed anxiety disorder you may have is not real. If this is your situation, it’s very real.
But I am some one who’s done a lot of psychological research, closely observes society, and has taken the time to unpack my own emotions as much as possible.
And what I’ve found is that, as a society, we’re very quick to see anxiety as a problem to be solved.
I think this is a mistake.
Instead, I believe your anxiety is try to tell you something, and one of the best things you can do for yourself is understand it and honor it.
Personally, I’ve found my anxiety has been a powerful navigation system. And when I’ve honored it, it’s helped me create a pretty incredible life.
Now, again, I’m not talking about if you find you have debilitating anxiety that’s stopping you from living a life you want to live. I’m also not talking about anxiety as a result of a trauma response, or any other forms of anxiety that you or a medical professional may believe to be at an unhealthy level.
But I also believe there is such a thing as healthy anxiety. I also think we, as a society, have become far too focused on “fixing” healthy anxiety, and it’s to our detriment.
I believe every emotion we have serves a valuable purpose. And when we can learn to uncover that purpose and respect how we’re feeling, it can lead us some pretty powerful places. Anxiety is no exception.
How to Listen to Your Anxiety
Identify your triggers
When and where your anxiety appears can tell you a lot.
For instance, you may find your anxiety spikes as you park your car at work, when a certain name shows up on your phone, or when you have to make a phone call.
You don’t have to get too dig too deep in the beginning, just notice what causes your anxiety.
Once you start to notice your triggers, you may also start to notice patterns, which will come in handy for the next step.
Identify what your anxiety is trying to tell you
Once you’ve identified your anxiety triggers, it’s time to look at what you’re anxiety is trying to tell you.
If you find you’re often anxious around a certain place or person, what is it that your anxiety is trying to you about this place or person?
In this case, I’ve typically found that my anxiety is trying to tell me that this place is not one I belong in or this person is not someone I belong with.
Your anxiety may be trying to tell you something different. That’s up to you to uncover.
You may also notice patterns in your anxiety, like it always pops up when you’re doing something new or feel like you don’t know enough about a given situation.
Personally, my anxiety is most commonly trying to tell me that:
- Something is not for me
- I’m feeling unprepared
- I’ve taken on too much/I’m trying to do more than I can reasonably accomplish
Your anxiety may be trying to tell you different things, but I’ve found these to be true for a lot of people–especially the first one.
I think this is largely because societies are often made for the majority of people, but if you don’t align with the majority, you may find yourself forced into a life or situation that isn’t meant for you.
And I think we all have at least a few ways where what’s best of most of society isn’t what’s best for us.
In this case, your anxiety is likely present because it’s trying to steer you away from this thing that isn’t serving you.
Diving deeper into what your anxiety triggers are and what they’re trying to tell you can help you has the potential to lead you to a happier and more peaceful life.
With that said, I think it’s worth noting that even debilitating or unhealthy anxiety has a message for you. That message is that something’s not okay and needs your attention (and perhaps support from a professional).
3 Ways to Respond to Your Anxiety
Opt out of sources of anxiety that offer no benefit
It’s pretty common for people to tell use we have to “work through” our anxiety or “get over” our anxiety, but there’s a third option we don’t talk enough about.
We can honor our anxiety as much as possible. You don’t really have to put yourself in situations that make you anxious when there’s no obvious benefit.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for getting out of your comfort zone to go after things you want or for the sake of learning and growing. Those are times when I believe it’s better to manage anxiety.
But there are so many times I’ve ignored my anxiety and done the uncomfortable thing, only to find myself miserable, having gained nothing, and wishing I opted out.
If you’re presented with an event that’s a source of your anxiety, opt out if you don’t want to go to it and see no benefit.
It’s actually a real and valid option, and it’s transformed my life when I started doing it.
Try to turn the volume down on your anxiety when you can’t opt out
When we can, it’s nice to remove ourselves from the things that are causing us anxiety, but that isn’t always an option.
Or, there are some times things we want to do, but may be anxious about because it’s new or there’s some risk involved.
In those times, a lot of people try to ignore or deny their anxiety which is almost never helpful.
Instead, what I’ve found to be helpful is to prioritize turning down the volume on my anxiety. So, I’m not trying to get rid of it. I’m just trying to make sure it’s not my dominant emotion, and it doesn’t stop me from doing the things I need or want to do.
Meditation, yoga, walking, or other forms of exercise can help with this.
Something else I’ve also found helpful is to actually talk to my anxiety and befriend it. I usually do this in a meditation, but not always.
It may sound a little strange, but I find this puts some space between me and my anxiety, which helps take it down a notch. I usually start by acknowledging what my anxiety is trying to tell me, then list the skills and tools I have to navigate the source of my anxiety, then end with some kind of mantra to help me be more confident.
Here’s an example
For instance, if I had to be at a networking event (which is definitely NOT a place that is meant for me), I might say something like:
“You’re right. This is not an environment that’s meant for me, and I appreciate that you see that. But the thing is, we still have to get through this. I know I have the skills and tools to navigate this situation. I have conversation starters to steer interactions in the direction I want them to go in, and I know I can step out and take breaks when I need to. I also have an exit strategy, both for conversations I don’t want to be in and for this event as a whole. People are interested in talking to me and I’m invigorated by the connections I make.”
I know my anxiety isn’t going to go away as long as I’m in this situation, because it’s not an event that was put together with an introverted HSP like me in mind. But this approach turns the the volume down on my anxiety so I can do what I need to do.
It also helps me think of my anxiety as a friend who sees and validates me. My anxiety knows and understands networking events are miserable for someone like me, and it isn’t telling me to “get over it.” It’s tell me, “you’re right, this sucks and you should get out ASAP,” which I really appreciate.
Make a lifestyle change
If the source of your anxiety is a lifestyle staple it may be time to look into a lifestyle change.
For instance, I’ve heard so many stories of people who go to bed every Sunday night with anxiety knots in their stomach because they have to go to work the next day.
That’s not what work should feel like. Monday’s don’t have to be a dreaded day.
If your job is causing you a constant source of anxiety, it may be time to make a change.
And this is true for any major pillar in your life. Whether it be your family, your relationships, your education or anything similar.
If you find your anxiety a regular occurrence in a major area of your life, there’s a good chance it’s telling you to make a change.
As much as I believe anxiety can be a friend, I don’t believe it should be a lifestyle. You deserve better.
If you’re going to make that lifestyle change, a tarot reading can help!
Believe it or not, Tarot can be ideal for this kind of change or struggle.
My kind tarot isn’t all about crystal balls and fortune telling. I believe tarot can be a powerful tool to help you tap into your own intuition and inner guidance.
This can help you write your own story and create a life that aligns with your soul. This can reduce your daily anxiety and make it a hell of a lot easier to be friend any more occasional anxiety that happens to who up.
If this is something you’re interested in, the How to Transform Your Life Reading, Soul-Alignment Reading, or Life Guidance Reading would likely be the most helpful to you.
Or, if the change you’re ready to make involves a commitment to following your dreams, you might enjoy the How to Make Your Dreams Come True Reading.
For more on my Tarot philosophy, you can can check out the About page.
If you’d like to know even more about me and how anxiety played a role into my own tarot journey, you can read my story here.
What has your anxiety tried to tell you? What helps you minimize, manage, or listen to your anxiety? I’d love to know your experience in the comments!
